Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

American Eels as a Bonding Tool

Thursday, November 6th, 2008

Slipping and Sliding with Dad

(This blog also appears as a guest post at www.maydecembersecrets.com)

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The American Eel is believed to come from an area of the Atlantic Ocean called the Sargasso Sea. They are born there and then spend most of their life in fresh water. They are energetic little fish which swim from the Atlantic ocean up many of the rivers and streams in America to mature in some interesting places. This post is about those which found their way into the muddy banks of creeks in West Virginia. That’s a pretty long swim.

One of the activities I loved to do with dad was to fish. We usually fished in Twelve Pole Creek, an almost river-sized creek near home. Most of the time we fished with either minnows or worms. There were times, though, when dad wanted to fish with eels. They lasted much longer than other baits on a hook and big bass seemed to particularly love them. Obtaining them meant a lot of work for us, though.

We could stop at any bait shop for minnows or worms, but eels required that we wade in creeks around home with bait buckets and long handled shovels. Somehow dad knew just the right creek in which to “dig eels.” He would point and say “dig there” and I would shove the spade into the mud at the edge of the water and throw it out onto the bank. With luck, and speed, we would quickly be able to dig a half dozen or so eels. As I remember, though, they didn’t come easily. There were many shovels full of mud with no eels or eels that were so fast they got back into the water before I could grab them. Sometimes he yelled at me when an eel made it back to the water, but it would only be a few minutes before we were laughing again as I scrambled around trying to catch those slimy, slick little creatures. As was usually the case, he was very patient with me.

We would take the eels we caught and happily fish with them for many hours. Some of my fondest memories of dad are around the time I spent fishing with him. He was a good fisherman and a good teacher. He taught me everything I know about fishing.

Dad loved to wade as he fished. I guess he felt it got him closer to the fish. The family had a bit of a problem with that, however. You see, he never learned to swim. I saw him slip under water a couple of times. He always came back up sputtering, with his fishing rod in his hand, and somehow scrambled out of the hole he had stepped into.

Earnestine was also fortunate to have the benefit of some of his fishing knowledge. Living in the big city she never got an opportunity to fish as a child. We’re both glad she learned a little about fishing from an expert like dad. The memory of her catching her first (cat)fish in my sister’s farm pond will always be with us. Again, we were all laughing as she dragged the fish out of the water and yelled for help with it.

It was hard for my parents to accept my divorce and remarriage, particularly to a woman who was much younger than I. We have always emphasized bonding between Earnestine and my children. Because of the distance and reticence of my parents we could not similarly emphasize that closeness with them. Although she ultimately bonded with most of my family, I believe her interest in fishing was one of the things that strengthened her friendship with dad.

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The Nickel – by My First Guest Blogger

Wednesday, September 10th, 2008

This is a short intro. I have learned this week that at least two of my sisters are reading Earnest talks and I have to say I’m delighted. They have both reminded me of stories that I will write about in the future. This blog is about a subject I have a very vague memory of but my (Not so) evil sister remembers it well. She is the guest blogger and a very welcome one at that. This is as she wrote it. I don’t always agree with her characterization of me and my activities but I respect the First Amendment. Oh, the name of the store was MJ’s.

The nickel: We were living on 15th st. and mother sent us up to the corner to the grocery, I don’t remember the name of the store. She gave me orders to give you a nickel to get candy and I guess you overheard her, so while we were walking to the store you started wanting the nickel right then. You could be a real little devil! I was maybe ten or eleven, so you were maybe 5 or 6. Anyway, you kept it up till I gave you the nickel and then you little dumba___ you put it in your mouth and then of course, you swallowed it. All I could think of was Mother was going to kill me, so I just hit you really hard and the nickle popped out! I told you if you told mother I would never take you to the store again, but of course just as soon as we hit the door you said, and I quote, “Yvonne made me swallow my nickel.” Mother, of course spanked me. Thank you very much!! Oh, I remember the croquet set. I think I remember most everything about your childhood. You caused me to have a mark on my life for ever. I told Joyce (another sister) about your blog on Sunday, glad she could find it. Luv. Y

A Very Short Story

Monday, August 25th, 2008

The treatments worked! The heartworms are gone! He’s still slow. He’s still spoiled. He’s still short. He’s still the cutest dog ever! All is well in the Shorty world.

How to Fly a June Bug

Tuesday, July 1st, 2008


Ugly little beast, isn’t it? I didn’t think so when I was a little fellow. We had two really great apple trees in our yard that produced tons of yellow “early June” apples. At least that’s what we called them. They made the best fried apples you ever sunk a tooth in. They were great as pies, too. During the summer mom would preserve many jars of the apples so we had them year-round. I haven’t seen apples like those since I was a kid and the last time I was home I drove by the old house. The apple trees were gone. What a shame.

The little June bug in the picture loved those apples, too. When the apples were ripe there were lots of bugs flying around and they were very easy to catch. I’m sure PETA would be after me now if I was still doing it, but we used to fly the June bugs. It sounds cruel, and may have been, but a little boy in WVa in the fifties didn’t know about those things.

We would catch the bugs and tie thread around their back leg. It was kind of like having a miniature kite that didn’t require wind. The June bug would take off and fly in circles while we would hold the other end of the thread. We had to treat them nice and not fly them too often or they would just lie there. So, we usually had several and at night would put each of them on an apple and tie them down so they didn’t fly away. They ate the apple at night and were ready to go again in the morning.

They were only around for a few weeks but were fun for the few days we flew them. Little boys easily get bored. At least this one did. There was always something else to do in the summer days in WVa after the June bugs left.

Thank You Michael Dell

Thursday, June 12th, 2008


After many years as PC users we can now thank Michael Dell (you know Michael Dell as in Dell computers) for turning us on to Apple computers. I have to admit that Bill Gates was an integral part of the match as well. When you put Microsoft Vista on a Dell computer it’s not a good thing. They fight with each other and cause breakdowns kind of like couples who pay to fight with other in a bad marriage counseling session. Earnestine’s parents liked to fight with each other too. She just wasn’t up for triangulation in another dysfunctional marriage.

Yes, Earnestine and I are telling the horror story of purchasing a Dell system to as many people as possible so they may avoid similar problems. Since October 2007 we have had two new Dell laptops and another is on the way. Why so many? It’s very simple. They quit working and Dell support can’t fix them so they just send another. No, after hours and hours and hours on the phone with Texas, Canada, India, and Jamaica we still don’t have the working Dell PC we thought we purchased. Also, Dell has made it clear that we are stuck with their product. That’s OK. Someone in the family may need a boat anchor.

Oh, and I should mention that part of that system purchase was a Dell printer. We’ve now had four and decided to replace the last one with an HP printer that came as part of the Apple deal. After all, why keep the one that just jams the paper? Dell support couldn’t fix those either and sent us one after another.

So, Earnestine decided to go to the Dell store to “look.” She took me and an Apple loving friend named John(ny,) who is now known as the midhusband, to the store with her. We are now the proud owners of a new Apple MacBook. Have you ever purchased a computer that you just had to turn on when it came out of the box? And it worked? The Apple did just that. We were amazed. No downloads. No software additions. No…

Anyway, we owe quite a bit to Mr. Dell, including the balance due on the system that doesn’t work. But most importantly, we owe him for introducing us to the wonderful world of Apple.

Now, how do I justify getting rid of the HP and Gateway PCs and going to Apple for myself? Hmmm……………….

A "Short" Report

Tuesday, May 27th, 2008


I thought the two or three of you who are reading Earnest might like a report on Shorty. He is, after all, the center of all of our attention. At least he thinks he is.

He appears to be weathering this treatment well, so far. He hasn’t shown any outward signs of the death of the worms within, but we’ve been pretty lucky keeping him relatively calm. Of course the hot Texas weather has helped. Shorty seems to prefer the air conditioning in my office to the heat in the backyard. He quickly learned to use the new dog door.

He’s lying beside my desk right now looking up at me with those mournful Basset eyes. He knows I’m writing about him. He also knows that my one or two readers care to hear about him.

Earnest will be back with more fun stuff in a day or two. Oh, in the picture above Shorty is trying to get away from the camera. He’s a little camera shy and went as far up the chair as possible.

How Many Stations Can You Receive?

Saturday, May 17th, 2008

When I was a kid, dad and I would go to the “beauty shop” to pick up mom. He often sent me inside to let her know we had arrived. I was embarassed because this place seemed to allow only women inside so I usually got in and out quickly. How things have changed!

I had very blonde hair until I was in my twenties. As I grew older it darkened. I didn’t like it darker but felt there was nothing I could do about that. Several years ago I learned about a spray that claimed to use the sun to lighten hair. It worked. Then, the woman who did my hair (I no longer get haircuts) told me it looked brassy and she could make it look better. That was the beginning of many years of artificially lightening my hair.

Now I go to the hairdresser (barber?) every few weeks and have it highlighted (bleached as we used to say.) Not wanting to look totally unwilling to accept my age, I’ve told her to leave some of the gray showing. Yep, the natural color has now become at least partially gray. Yesterday was the day to have my hair done (haircut?) If you’ve never had your hair lightened you may not know that part of the process is for the hairdresser to put lots of pieces of aluminum foil in your hair to wrap around the chemically treated hair.

As I sat there with my head looking like an antenna farm a little boy about six or seven years old came around the corner. The look on his face when he saw me reminded me of the looks I’m sure I had on mine when I would go into the beauty shop to get mom. I remember being surrounded by women with wires and pins and curlers and all manner of beautifying equipment in their hair. It felt like another world.

I wonder if the little boy I saw yesterday will be blogging in years to come about the man in the chair with the aluminum foil forest in his hair. Based on the look I saw he was as embarassed for me as I was when I had to enter the realm of the women as a kid. Or maybe he wondered how I tuned my aluminum foil antennas to achieve the best reception.

Who says I can’t swim?

Thursday, May 8th, 2008

Well, the ukulele killer has spoken. So has Kynephew. Thanks for the spelling lesson. I think her foot must have glanced off my ukulele and hit me in the head. I was a spelling champion before that trip.

Anyway, I spoke with my (evil) ukulele killing sister after she read the blog. She said I should have blogged about the time I tried to drown her. Of course she remembers it differently than I do. At no time in my life have I ever said or thought I wanted to drown her. Well…

She says she tried to keep me out of the water that day but I remember that she was so busy with all of the boys at the swimming pool that she wasn’t paying attention to me. That was her job, too. I was just a little boy! Our parents told her to take care of me!

Where we lived probably has one of the largest swimming pools in the world. (At least it seems that way). My evil sister and I spent most of our summers at that pool. I think I had learned to swim by the time I was five. At least that’s how I remember it.

On the day in question I decided to swim out to the island that was in the deeper water. No sweat. I swam out and climbed on the island to rest. There wasn’t much to do there so I decided to go back. About halfway back I got a cramp or something and began to sink (she says I got tired). Well, my (evil) sister must have seen me because she actually came out to get me.

Now you have to understand that I was just a little boy and drowning was not something I wanted to do. I quickly figured out that all I had to do to keep from drowning was stand on her shoulders. The only problem was that put her under water, making it difficult for her to breathe, to say the least. But, I was finally OK.

For some reason my solution did not agree with her and she kept trying to push me off. I guess the lifeguard finally took his eyes off the girls and saw me. At least some big guy came out and helped me swim back to the side of the pool. My (evil) sister floated up and swam to the side. She has been giving me trouble about this all of my life. I don’t understand her problem.

On the serious side, Earnestine reminded me of a trip we took to California a few years ago. We were in a canoe on the Russian River and came under a bridge just before the point where we were to beach the canoe. The bridge had an island similar to the pool and there were several kids just coming off that island to swim back to shore.

Well, as Yogi Berra would say, it was deja vu all over again. One of the smaller kids began to struggle in the water and we could see he wasn’t going to make it. We got the canoe near him and I stuck a paddle out for him to hold while we pulled him in. Well, he was scared and decided to grab the canoe instead. I could see that was going to cause us to tip but somehow managed to get him to stop and we got him in with a paddle. I’m just glad he didn’t have to stand on my shoulders.

How entertainment has changed

Monday, May 5th, 2008

I was talking with my daughter yesterday about a long road trip with her kids. She said they had two dvd players with screens that attached to the back of the headrests so the kids could stay occupied. Can you imagine that? Two movies in the car at the same time?

The discussion reminded me of a trip I took with my family back in the early fifties. Yes, I’m older than dirt. We went from WV to NM in a 1949 Chevy with no air conditioning and only an AM radio for entertainment. Not only that, but back then we had only two lane roads and my parents loved to stop at every tourist attraction. Since much of the trip was along the legendary Route 66 there were lots of tourist attractions from which to choose. As a result of all of that, the trip took about five days, I knew we would need more entertainment while we were in the car. So, I brought my ukelele to fill in the dead spots.

Yep, a four string plastic ukelele and I used it to entertain my parents and my older sister. I’m sure the fact that I knew only part of one song contributed to the problem that ensued. I was about 10 years old. That meant my sister would have been about 15 years old. Under ordinary circumstances 15 year old girls do not like their 10 year old brothers, anyway, and the ukelele seemed to make that situation even worse.

After the second or third day my sister must have gotten tired of Five Foot Two, Eyes of Blue being played over and over by me on my ukelele. My parents hadn’t said anything so I figured I was doing a good job entertaining everyone. My sister was laying down in the back seat and I was sitting on the other side of the car strumming away. Without warning she slammed her heel into the back of my ukelele, crushing it.

I’m still traumatized by the fact that my parents did not take my side in this situation. They obviously loved her more than me. Maybe I was adopted like my older siblings told me. Anyway, we had to spend the rest of the trip with no entertainment at all. I was very glad she was not invited the next time we went to NM. Of course by that time she had escaped the house and was married. Oh, well.

To add insult to injury, I was relating this story in a restaurant. For some reason my wife and daughter were laughing uncontrollably and were attracting a lot of attention. I couldn’t believe they didn’t understand how this incident had caused me to never want to travel with kids again. They obviously didn’t love me.

Oh, I never played the ukelele again.

Is it just me?

Sunday, May 4th, 2008

Am I the only one who is totally sick of the presidential campaign? It is way past being enough. It’s Sunday morning and Obama is on Russert. Masses of talking heads who have only opinions are chattering on CNN. The same reporters who were fawning over Obama are now savaging him. Kind of sickening, huh?

I’ll be very happy when we are done with it this year.

On the other hand is a beautiful day here in Texas. Cool and bright. We have to enjoy that while we can.

I was right. This is just a journal. That’s OK, too. Since it’s a journal I can say anything I want without it having to make sense or deliver a message. It’s just me. I think I like that and it makes no difference if anyone reads this or not.

So, if you do read any of this it may not be very profound. On the other hand, once I get a little farther along on the book I’m writing with my wife I may finally have something to say! Happy Sunday.