Archive for August, 2008

Who Knew What Fifty Cents Would Buy

Saturday, August 30th, 2008


I have to admit that evil sister probably hated me when I was a little boy. At least as far as my effect on her life. You can be sure that I played my part of pesky little brother to the limit.

For instance, there was the time when she was sitting in the living room with her boyfriend. The back of the couch faced the living room door so I was able to stand in the hall and see when they got close together or if her boyfriend put his arm around her. When that happened I would wander into the room and start playing or talking to them.

Well I’m sure you can imagine that I didn’t make them very happy when I interrupted whatever they were doing. On this particular night I was a very big pest. I was in and out of the living room several times and my sister was getting angrier each time I “visited” them. Finally her boyfriend bribed me with fifty cents and I left them alone for the rest of the evening.

Fifty cents was a lot of money to me then. I couldn’t wait to spend it so the next day I walked to the local 10 cent store and shopped and shopped before finally deciding on a toy croquet set (not the one in the picture.) Yep, it had several small mallets, balls, stakes and miniature wire wickets. As it turned out, the balls were so small that they would be deflected by high grass and therefore weren’t much good for croquet.

So, for what does a disappointed little boy use a useless croquet set? If you ask my evil sister she’ll say I chased and hit her with the mallets. So tell me my faithful readers. Do you really think I would do such an un-brotherly loving thing?

Traveling With Mom And Dad

Tuesday, August 26th, 2008


The deeper I get into this blogging activity, the more surprises I find.

I have a traveling Jones. That’s pretty well-known in the family. Throughout my life I have believed this to be due to all of the reading and dreaming I’ve done. Through my reading I’ve visited places and times and worlds and characters that often transcended the world in which I lived. Who wouldn’t want to travel to as many of those places as possible?

I was talking with Earnestine about traveling with my mom and dad when something struck me – they loved to travel! I had never thought about it. I knew they traveled quite a bit after all of us kids left home but I just assumed it was only to come see us and their grandchildren. When I stopped assuming, however, I immediately remembered my experiences when I traveled with them.

In my lifetime they didn’t own a car until the early fifties (there was one before my birth) when they bought my brother’s 1949 Chevy from him. Until that time they both rode the bus to work and when we went somewhere we walked or rode the bus. Then they got the car and things changed. We began going to my grandmother’s house a lot (I got sick in the car.) When my sister (not the evil one) moved to Ohio we drove there (I got sick in the car.) Then, she moved to New Mexico.

I remember our first trip to Albuquerque – it took five days (I got sick more than once.) There were no interstates. Highways were mostly two lane and went through every small town from West Virginia to New Mexico. My memories of that trip have always related to the destruction of my ukulele (due to the evil sister) and getting sick. This recent revelation, however, gives me so much more to think about.

In that five days we stopped at almost every historical marker and state line monument along the road. About half of the trip was on Route 66 and we stopped at most of the tourist attractions that are now part of the Route 66 folklore. Snake farms, tepee motels, buffalo ranches, caverns, and whatever else appeared before us. I’m surprised we got there in five days. I even remember my first experience with “Mexican” food. We stopped in Tucumcari, New Mexico for dinner and I had Mexican spaghetti. Hot! Hot! Hot! It’s over 50 years later and I still remember that meal.

There was another trip to New Mexico before I left home. It was just mom and dad and me but the trip experience was more of the same. After that mom and dad visited us kids wherever we were. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. New Mexico several times. Birmingham, Alabama., Springfield, Massachusetts, New Orleans, Louisiana, and more. But there came a time when they began to just stop by to see us as they traveled through.

On one trip they stopped in New Orleans to see my family and went on to New Mexico to my sister’s home. Then, for some reason, they went on to the Grand Canyon and California and back through the upper Midwest before returning home. Why? They didn’t have any family in any of those places. Until now I always thought they were just taking another way home.

But what came to me in the past few days is that my sister and I had no interest in historical markers on the way to New Mexico. We didn’t care much for Route 66 “tourist traps.” We certainly were not impressed by the monuments that told us where each state line was located. (or how high above sea level we were as does the picture above.) It was also a pain trying to get each of those little state decals to slide off the wet cardboard onto the rear window of the car without tearing or wrinkling. My sister and I could have cared less, not to mention how tacky they looked. We just wanted the trip to be over. Have I told you the car was not air-conditioned?

My mom and dad, however, loved all of this. I didn’t realize that at the time, but certainly do now. They were both raised on farms and probably never thought they would see much more than where they lived. When they were able to travel, however, they did! As I think back, I realize their traveling gave them an opportunity to live a life they might never have thought possible. They were having fun! What a concept!

At some point they stopped traveling. I don’t know why and don’t know if one or both of them made that decision. It doesn’t matter, though, because in their life they were able to go places and see things they had only dreamed about. They enjoyed life outside of the five kids and all of the grandchildren. I’m sad this has occurred to me only now. I’m glad I do finally get to know, though.

So, yes, I come by my traveling Jones honestly. That little small town West Virginia boy always dreamed of traveling but never really expected it to happen. But, like mom and dad I have had the opportunities and have taken them. I’ve traveled the world, as have some of my siblings and children. I actually scheduled one business trip so that I literally took a trip around the world, just so I could say I have done it. But I’ll bet nothing I saw on that or any of my trips was more exciting to me than the Grand Canyon or Golden Gate Bridge or Mount Rushmore was to my mom and dad.

I haven’t finished traveling yet. I hope to never reach a stop. I wish I could take mom and dad on a trip, though. I wish they could have gone to Paris with us. I would have loved to buy them one of those little plastic Eiffel Towers! It would not seem at all tacky if I was handing it to one of them.

A Very Short Story

Monday, August 25th, 2008

The treatments worked! The heartworms are gone! He’s still slow. He’s still spoiled. He’s still short. He’s still the cutest dog ever! All is well in the Shorty world.

Pigs Love to Eat What?

Saturday, August 9th, 2008


Well, the truth is they seem to love to eat everything. In that little town in which I grew up we had so many opportunities for playing. We dug foxholes and fought wars, ran around the neighborhood all day, played tag at night, rode sleds in the winter, built forts in the summer, rode trains as they went into the rail yard and, yes, we fed coal to pigs.

Coal, you ask? Yes, coal. Many coal trains passed my house each day and, of course, coal would fall on the rails. Now we didn’t need the coal for heat, but didn’t want it to go to waste. So, the boys in the neighborhood learned that pigs love to eat coal. In the hills above our town were several pig pens. Since we had pigs and coal and a lot of free time we naturally combined them into one fun adventure.

We also fed them sandstone, but that wasn’t quite as easy since we didn’t have any sandstone trains. I guess they liked the coal. They ate it. But they ate everything. I wonder if they ever got indigestion. Did it hurt their teeth?

Don’t get me started on how they “harvested” the hams and roasts and bacon and such from these pigs. I also got to watch that in the alley behind my house. I wonder if they tasted like coal.

David Letterman and Cracker Jacks

Thursday, August 7th, 2008


I made this note one night when I was watching Letterman. I no longer remember the connection to Dave but that doesn’t matter. Did you know that Cracker Jacks were first sold at the World’s Columbian Exposition, Chicago’s first world fair, in 1893. Now, that statistic comes from the Cracker Jack website so it must be right. It wasn’t really marketed and trademarked as Cracker Jacks until 1896.

Did y0u know (sorry Elliot) that Cracker Jacks were immortalized in 1908 when Jack Norworth wrote the lyrics to “Take Me Out To The Ballgame.” Of course you all know the phrase “buy me some popcorn and Cracker Jacks” in that song.

Even I’m not old enough to remember when these things happened (I’ve heard John McCain may be, though.) Here’s what I do remember – OK, this is going to be an Andy Rooney moment.

When I was a kid Cracker Jacks came in a tightly sealed and waxed box. I can remember how difficult it was to tear through that waxed paper without a knife. Teeth just slid across the wax. The seal on the bottom of the box, where the toy was hidden, was even worse but the toy was worth the work to retrieve it. Now don’t get me wrong, I love Cracker Jacks, but the toys back then were the best (whatever they were.)

So, why is this going to be an Andy Rooney moment? Simple. Those marvelous toys of the past are gone. What do you get now? Something made out of paper. They aren’t toys, they are throwaways. I still eat Cracker Jacks but I surely don’t eat as many as when I was a kid. What’s the point? They are only candied popcorn and peanuts. Where are the toys of old (whatever they were.) What’s more, Cracker Jacks now come in bags! Where’s the challenge to opening them?

Double, Double Toil and Trouble

Friday, August 1st, 2008


Do you enjoy Macbeth? Neither do I but the title fits. Picture Shakespeare’s witches stirring a huge, black, iron cauldron over a large fire. That’s what I used to see almost every year in my neighborhood. The differences from Macbeth were significant, however.

It was a huge, black, iron cauldron. It was over a large fire. There were no witches, however. Instead there was one sweet old (probably in her forties or fifties but everyone is old when you are a kid) lady tending the cauldron. I don’t know what Macbeth’s witches were stirring up but I sure knew what this lady was stirring and even though she was using a cement hoe, it wasn’t cement.

All of the kids in the neighborhood looked forward to this spectacle and its result. She would build the fire in her front yard (this was sort of country, after all) and somehow the cauldron got put on the fire. I never saw how that happened so maybe she was something of a witch. Next came the apples – lots of apples. Yep, she was making apple butter. The best apple butter I’ve ever eaten, before and since. She spent an entire day cooking each batch and we all looked forward to the samples. She never forgot to let us taste her special brew. One more sweet memory of growing up in Kenova.

Let’s Hear it For the Big Cheese!

Friday, August 1st, 2008


I just listened to my friend Ron Lambert as he was interviewed by Elliot Barnes for Elliot’s Sparklecast. I have to admit I’m not sure who had the most fun, Ron or Elliot. There’s is no question that Elliot did an amazing amount of research for the interview and tested Ron’s knowledge of our home town.

Pumpkin houses and naming conventions almost tripped up Ron but I had coached him with Kenova trivia (yep, Kentucky, Ohio and Virginia). I could tell he was a little surprised by the questions but managed to hold his own.

All I can say is that Elliot is a well prepared interviewer. It sounded like he has been reading my blog, too. How else did he come up with Ron’s “two” sisters. Like me, Ron has three sisters and a brother but only two sisters have been mentioned on-line. We got him on that one, didn’t we Ron!

Elliot is Earnestine’s BOFitUK. I guess he will have to be mine and Ron’s BOGFitUK. I did hear something about that interview being one between dueling genius’s didn’t I?